It's not easy. Life isn't supposed to be easy anyways. It's going to break me, drag me through some deep mud, try to pull me into a quicksand, have a hurricane that sucks up everything on its way and never stops. This will continue till the day my soul leaves my body.
Yes, there are days where sadness and grief overwhelms me. I learnt that it's not a sin to feel sad. The Prophet SAW experienced a whole year of depression after the demise of his beloved wife.
Yes, there are days where I yearn to be in the arms of my loved ones and be comforted just by being with them.
Yes, there are days where my stomach growls in hunger yet my self-wrath denies food and drink to pass down my throat.
Yes, there are days when I see the world with the tired eyes and worn-out mind of an old woman living in the body that is just new to adulthood. Till I wonder, is life about to be over already because I think I've seen enough.
And then, I know too well, more is to come. Accepting it makes it easier, well, atleast I'd like to think so.
Read the title again. This is my oft-repeated mantra during times where I have mountains to move but not a drop of energy within me. I repeat it until my lips fumble, the load in my mind feels lighter, my tightly closed eyes feel moisture after being dry for too long. I keep repeating until the world dissolves away in those tears. Even after that, I keep repeating.
Of course, some of our family and friends have much worse problems. Global war is happening, people are dying of starvation and the world is in a haywire with corruption in every nook and corner.
Does that mean our problems aren't serious? Should you and I just keep quiet and do not have the privilege of letting a sigh out and seeking help and feeling incomplete?
Yes, the world has a million problems. But for the One who created us, fashioned us with an amazing body and emotions, taught us step by step, test us with this and that, will take charge of our condition personally in His Hands.
Proof?
Yes, there are days where sadness and grief overwhelms me. I learnt that it's not a sin to feel sad. The Prophet SAW experienced a whole year of depression after the demise of his beloved wife.
Yes, there are days where I yearn to be in the arms of my loved ones and be comforted just by being with them.
Yes, there are days where my stomach growls in hunger yet my self-wrath denies food and drink to pass down my throat.
Yes, there are days when I see the world with the tired eyes and worn-out mind of an old woman living in the body that is just new to adulthood. Till I wonder, is life about to be over already because I think I've seen enough.
And then, I know too well, more is to come. Accepting it makes it easier, well, atleast I'd like to think so.
Read the title again. This is my oft-repeated mantra during times where I have mountains to move but not a drop of energy within me. I repeat it until my lips fumble, the load in my mind feels lighter, my tightly closed eyes feel moisture after being dry for too long. I keep repeating until the world dissolves away in those tears. Even after that, I keep repeating.
Of course, some of our family and friends have much worse problems. Global war is happening, people are dying of starvation and the world is in a haywire with corruption in every nook and corner.
Does that mean our problems aren't serious? Should you and I just keep quiet and do not have the privilege of letting a sigh out and seeking help and feeling incomplete?
Yes, the world has a million problems. But for the One who created us, fashioned us with an amazing body and emotions, taught us step by step, test us with this and that, will take charge of our condition personally in His Hands.
Proof?
Egypt was in the hands of a ruthless Emperor, the Pharoah. People were enslaved, insulted, tortured, raped and let to die. It was a nightmare. As Allah SWT narrates the political and social condition in the Quran, he interrupts the lines and takes the time to describe in detail what Umm Musa went through. Beginning from her contraction pangs, the birth of her son, the absence of her husband by her side, the fear of Musa's cry catching the attention of the military men outside who would then snatch her baby, her motherly heart being numb and wild at once as she casted her newborn into the treacherous river even before the blood on her baby's body dried up, how she told her daughter to keep an eye on the baby from the river banks even after having supposedly let go of him, her shock when her nightmare came true as she learned the baby had ended up in the hands of Pharoah.
Each of these emotions is discussed in detail and presented by Allah SWT who was in charge of altering the Day and Night, feeding millions of creatures and providing their daily needs and ruling over the rulers of the world.
With all the tasks on His Hands, He chose to describe every inch of detail that a mother was going through without her husband by her side as she delivered their baby. What's even more amazing is that Umm Musa's emotions have been permanently embedded in the Quran, the Timeless Guidance for Mankind. Out of everything Allah SWT could have chosen to narrate to provide Guidance, He did this.
Just like that, Allah SWT would never dismiss our feelings, our relatively "insignificant" trials, our sleepless nights, our overwhelming responsibilities, our seemingly huge dreams that isn't appreciated or encouraged by anyone. Every.single.thing.
Be assured, that not only is He in-charge of our affairs but knows what we go through when we fall and is right next to you and I to catch us before we hit the ground. Right next to us just like how He was right next to Umm Musa.
Right next to you. Right next to me. Right next to each and every one of us.
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